I need to leave. I want to just leave this town right now. I’m tired of hurting everyone I care about. I’m tired of letting people down. I’m tired of living in shame of my actions. I’m tired of messing everything up. I’m tired of hurting her.
I’ve tried so hard to protect her from other guys, and I was the one that hurt her. I was the one I should have protected her from. Me.
God, I’m an idiot. I always have told myself I’m a good guy. But I’m not even close. I’m undeserving of everything good in my life. Especially her. The best thing.
I wish I could just leave and stop hurting her with everything I do. But I can’t make myself give up. All I know is to try. But now I don’t know how. I feel so helpless. I’m so scared all I do is hurt her again. But I’m trying so hard not to let that happen.
I’m so sorry. Every ounce of me is sorry. I’m empty. I don’t know what to do. Or who to talk to. Because she’s the only one I want. She’s the only one I want to talk to.
This hurts so bad.