I haven’t recovered, I’ve just gotten better at hiding.
Whispers of My Heart.
“ Don’t be afraid of death; be afraid of an unlived life. You don’t have to live forever, you just have to live. ”
I want out of this place. I’m tired of being ditched by people I consider friends. I’m weary of this town and the people in it.
It’s always a let down.
I thought I had my life planned out. Earlier this week I planned on going to Norman to rent an apartment, get a job at a hospital, and start my adult life on my own.
Then, out of nowhere, a friend of mine asked me to venture with him on a trip that could change my life forever. He asked me live with him for a year in the Virgin Islands. This opportunity sounds far-fetched and maybe even slightly silly. But it’s hit me straight in the heart. I want to go—more than anything, I want to go.
However, my family hasn’t shown the support and love I was so hoping they would. My mom won’t even listen to me. Her first words were “that is dumb and stupid and no.” I am 22 years old. I have graduated college. And I have spent my entire life in Oklahoma. It took 20 years or so before I ever made it to more than a couple of states away.
I have never been out of this country. I have never flown on a plane. My life has been so basic—go to school for 20+ years and get a job.
But that’s not who I am. I am not made to settle for a 9-5 job for 40 years. I just cannot imagine living my life like that.
It’s so hard to go through life without support from your family. Granted, they have supported me in my decisions to do some things—go to college, road trips with close friends, etc.
The moment I tell them about an amazing opportunity that’s not ordinary, they think I’m stupid. It hurts.
I promise I will never bash my children for wanting to be different, for wanting to live an extraordinary life, for sticking out. I will never try to box them into certain paths and careers.
While I do value and respect my mother and grandparents and their opinions, I want to live. I cannot let them hold me back from something I see as beneficial to the rest of my life. How many people from Oklahoma can say they lived in the Virgin Islands? I only know one. And he’s the one I’m going with.
I do know that I have to think long and hard about this trip. I will have to save tons of money. I will have to prepare myself. But I’m willing.
I can’t turn this down. I have to go.
(Source: teamdowneyhiddleston)
