coltonsnead

Life with her will be the Fourth of July. Full of fireworks and celebration. You will love life. She’ll kiss you the way the sun kisses your skin when you walk out of her house—just soft enough to give you chills. You will enjoy her. And yourself. She’ll make you forget it’s a Tuesday night because every night with her is a Friday night. You will mistake her eyes for stars because they shine so bright when she catches you staring at her. She’ll make you forget every bad day you’ve ever had and every girl who ever broke your heart. Life will be good.

You’ll feel at home. You’ll feel loved and free for the first time in years. Life with her will change you. Slowly but surely,
you will fall half in love.

Then, when it ends, and it always ends, you will be empty. You I’ll think about her all day. You’ll realize she has leaked into every part of your life. The cracks in your seats will be full of her fallen hairs. The bend of your knee will be outlined with her knee because you always wrapped your leg up in hers. Your lips will taste like her lipstick every time you lick them. And every single time you close your eyes you will see hers. You will see her favorite number everywhere you look. You’ll be reminded of her by every sad song you sing on the way home from work. You’ll scream her name and hate yourself because it still tastes as sweet as her skin that hot Fourth of July when you almost told her you loved her.

You will lose yourself. And then find yourself on your tailgate getting drunk on cheap beer listening to discount fireworks in the distance. Funny how they sound like your heart battling your mind. You’ll laugh because you think you’re the winner here. But you’ve been a loser all your life.

The sun will set. You will lose sleep thinking about what’s wrong with you. You will regret overusing “you’re beautiful” and never saying you love her. You’ll fall asleep whispering, “I gave you my heart.”

You will wake up and it will start all over.

C, the 5th of July (via coltonsnead)
coltonsnead
Come over and I will make you a cup of
your favorite coffee.
Or I can make you brunch.
We can get lost in
the sheets on my bed
and maybe in each other’s eyes.
Come over and I will play your favorite record.
I’ll spin you around and
pull you into me.
Come over and we can find constellations
in the stars and in the freckles
on our shoulders.
Come over and we can talk about
our darkest secrets.
Or about the way you light up the
room when you smile.
Come over and we can make liars
out of everyone who’s ever said
all good things must come to an end.
C, come over tonight (via coltonsnead)
coltonsnead
Life is going to get tough. It’s one of those
certainties—like how your mother will
always be right. It just may take you a while
to realize it.
Life has a funny way of pushing you around
that really isn’t that funny at all. People are going
to pass away. Some will be far too young.
It will hurt. It probably won’t heal.
People will tell you that it only takes time,
but you will try to speed the process up with
gas station beer and Camel Crushes, hoping
they are wrong. And they are, but it doesn’t
mean you are right.
Life will punch you, right in the gut. It will feel just like
that time you fell off the swing in 3rd grade and
the ground knocked the air out of you.
Life will knock the air out of you, but don’t stop breathing.
Heartbreak will find you and it will crush you.
You’ll lay in bed with a heart as broken as the
mirror that fell off your wall in college. But
do not be fooled. A broken mirror is still a mirror.
And a broken heart is still a heart.
It will continue to beat just like that old clock on your
grandma’s wall that’s been there for what looks like
centuries.
Life will get tough. Mama always said, “when it rains
it pours.” And you will find out again: Mama is always right.
You’ll get caught in the rain and soon you will
find yourself trying to cross a river of disappointment
so when those floods come, put on your
rain boots. Those rivers may be scary, but you are
stronger than they are. You may be as innocent as a sheep,
but be as courageous as a lion.
Always remember that people will let you down, so
stop letting them hold you down, but never
stop caring for them. Do no let yourself become bitter.
Bitterness is cancer and it will destroy from the
inside out.
Life will get tough and some days you will feel the weight
of the world on your back. Don’t feel bad if you have to slow
down and take a load off. Rest. You need it.
But never let the weight of life’s disappointments hold you
back. Keep your head up.
Life will get tough and your arms will never be long enough
to hug all the people who are hurting, but don’t let that
stop you from trying. You can’t save the world, but don’t
let that stop you from trying either.
Never give up. Never give in.
Wake up each day and smile at yourself. The most beautiful
person in the world is the one staring back at you.
Take that smile and give it away to everyone you
walk by, because smiles are the best medicine.
Most importantly, be good. Do good, despite how
bad the world seems. I promise you there is good in
this world. You just have to look, and, sometimes,
you have to be the good. You have to be the stars
shining in the darkest nights. You can do it.
C, carry on (via coltonsnead)
coltonsnead
I love you
more than anyone in this
world but
I don’t love you at all.
How can I be so
at war with myself?
How can the one thing
that destroys me
make me feel so alive?
You tell me.
How can you be such
heartbreak but
the only thing
that keeps my heart beating?
I don’t get it.
I don’t get you.
I don’t love you
but I will never stop
loving you.
C, paradox of pain (via coltonsnead)
I love you
more than anyone in this
world but
I don’t love you at all.
How can I be so
at war with myself?
How can the one thing
that destroys me
make me feel so alive?
You tell me.
How can you be such
heartbreak but
the only thing
that keeps my heart beating?
I don’t get it.
I don’t get you.
I don’t love you
but I will never stop
loving you.
C, paradox of pain
haveasliceofme
Come over and I will make you a cup of
your favorite coffee.
Or I can make you brunch.
We can get lost in
the sheets on my bed
and maybe in each other’s eyes.
Come over and I will play your favorite record.
I’ll spin you around and
pull you into me.
Come over and we can find constellations
in the stars and in the freckles
on our shoulders.
Come over and we can talk about
our darkest secrets.
Or about the way you light up the
room when you smile.
Come over and we can make liars
out of everyone who’s ever said
all good things must come to an end.
C, come over tonight (via coltonsnead)